I'm a Teacup, NOT a Sledgehammer

Wow... A Year... and in a valley

2010-03-08T11:52:00.005-05:00

This post is for T, Al, Janet, Aunt Colleen, Joe, Dan, Andrea, and others I'm certain I'm forgetting.

I wasn't planning on posting... but I had several comments this weekend and last week about my it having been a year since I posted. So, at the very least, I could do something to refresh my blog. ha.

A lot has happened in a year. I've done a lot of things I've always wanted to do, and things I never thought about, but thoroughly enjoyed doing. I've said minor good-bye to friends as they have moved and gotten married. I've said good-bye to my brother as he deployed to Iraq (and I'm waiting to pick him up at the airport now for his R&R!). And God has brought new friends into my life through some interesting times. Friends who I never would have had in my life had if I hadn't taken certain risks that lead to interesting times.

And late this summer, I began to hit some rough times. I knew I was not going to the Lord to be my all-in-all. My adventures of the summer didn't fill me. My friends didn't fill me. And God, in His kindness even removed some of my friends from me (marriage, moving). But, what a good God. He sent me to the valley. But not alone. Not with out Him, and not with out my Care Group at church and not with out new, faithful friends who were ready to tell me when I was going into self-pity.

I missed my brother horribly. I missed my moved and married friends horribly. My care group leader said that I was in a valley, and that one day, I would love the valley because I would learn to draw near to God and see Him in a new way. My "surrogate mom" encouraged me to read through the Psalms. My good friend and accountability partner encouraged me to begin journaling.

It has been six months. And after six months, I'm still in the valley. And I love the valley. It isn't easy. But by His grace, I'm slowly learning how to go to Him. Looking back at my journal entries of the last six months, I see a common theme... "Lord, I need you... Help me to see it! Help me!"

Maybe I'm coming out of the valley. I hope not. I've never been in more love with my Savior and more aware of my need for Him. I need Jesus. I want Jesus. And I'm so thankful He chose me and saved me.

And though I'm am incredibly excited to see my brother today, I was crying in the shower this morning... not because I get to see Stephen after seven months of being apart. I was crying because one day I get to see Jesus. And if I'm this excited to hug and kiss my brother, I cannot imagine what it will be like to see my Savior. What a day that will be!

The Lights

2009-03-06T09:58:00.003-05:00

Every year, I anticipate the first time I see the lights on at Camden Yards. It means warmer weather is just around the corner. Means baseball is just around the corner. Today, I looked out the window, and what caught my eye? The lights. They are getting the stadium ready for baseball.

And I did a little happy dance. Some people look for the first signs of flowers. But, that takes too long. =)

Free O's Ticket for Your Bday!

2009-03-04T09:21:00.001-05:00

O's to give fans free birthday tickets

Associated Press

BALTIMORE -- The Orioles are giving away birthday presents to fans -- free tickets.

The team announced Tuesday that any fan can get a free ticket to a game during the month of his or her birthday -- except for games against the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox.

Free seats are in the upper part of the third deck, which cost $8 to $15.

A fan can register at http://www.orioles.com/birthdays and receive a voucher for a free birthday ticket. People with birthdays from January through March can get a ticket to an April game, and those born between October and December can go to a September game.

Bloggy Break

2009-02-24T13:57:00.002-05:00

Sorry faithful readers... I need a blog break.
I should be back in the swing of things after the youth conference my church is putting on (1st weekend in March).
I might have small posts between now and then, but if I were you, I'd probably skip my blog for a week or so.

2 Years & a Prayer Request

2009-02-19T13:06:00.004-05:00

2 years ago, my grandfather died.
I've posted this over a year ago.

But, I'd like to repost it in his memory, to honor a man who worked hard to provide for his family.

I'm thankful for his memory.

The prayer request is this.
My friend just called to tell me his dad died.
Please be praying for him and his daughters and the rest of his family.

Abstinence?

2009-02-19T11:25:00.002-05:00

I'm sure most of you have heard/read about Bristol Palin's comments where she said that abstinence is not realistic.

There are many things we could say.
But Dr. Mohler says it best.

I was praying for the teens gals that I work with at church last night. And this is one of the things that I pray for them about. I hope that Bristol's comments sadden you, but only to stir you up to pray more.

Resolution Update: Week 7

2009-02-18T08:29:00.003-05:00

New Year's Resolution

Gulp. No books this week.
That is okay. I'm already ahead of the game. (11 so far)

I purposefully spent a lot of time with friends and family over the long weekend. And I had a wonderful weekend. I don't think I've laughed or giggled that much for a while. Between an amazing dinner, serving, square dancing (yes! haha), karaoke (I didn't sing!), a surprise party, watching movies with my family (Baby Mama. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, need I say more?), fun text messages, ice cream for lunch (hehe), a spontaneous dinner, and picking a friend up from the airport, I'm not sure when I would have had time to read.

Plus, the two books I'm reading right now didn't exactly fit in with the mood of the weekend, although I'm enjoying the books a lot, and so far would recommend them.
Peace Like a River
Worldliness

Maggie's Post

2009-02-17T08:49:00.002-05:00

I love Maggie.
And one of the ways I see God's grace at work in her is her humility to sort through questions.
Questions that we all have.
I think you will appreciate the questions she is wrestling with and the truth she is reminding herself with.

Her post.

Living the Dream

2009-02-13T09:10:00.009-05:00

A colleague (#1) of mine used that phrase a few months ago to describe another colleague (#2). All of us who were at the table laughed. Then, another colleague said, "Wait, what does that mean? How is colleague #2 'living the dream'?"

The rest of us chuckled. Colleague #1 said, "We each had an image pop into our minds of what it meant for #2." The rest of us agreed. We each had a humorous image of what it meant for #2 to be "living the dream."

This past week I've been more prayerful on my walks into work. (Perhaps this is because I've been oversleeping and missing my morning QT because I've been running myself ragged. So, I've missed my normal times with God... but by His grace, I've been able to steal away at lunch time and have a QT. Not optimal, but enjoyable to be refreshed midday.)

The predominating thought is that I'm living the dream. My predominating prayer was thanking God for the life He has given me and how He continues to stretch me. I also found another prayer of thanksgiving entering my heart stronger than it ever has been -- thanking the Lord for my singleness.

Really thanking Him. I'm sure if I had a husband and children, I'd be regularly thanking the Lord for them as well. But, I don't, so I can't. And I'm okay with this. It doesn't mean that I don't desire these things, but by the grace of God, my desire for the Lord has increased. I've seen the doors the Lord has opened for me to serve -- doors that wouldn't be possible, for the most part, for me to walk through if I was married. My priorities would be different (and that is okay, they should be if I was married!) in where I serve.

I'm sure that I will struggle at various moments with singleness, as I typically do. But, those moments seem to be happening less and less as I encounter the Lord more and more.

I don't want to assume that "oh, I'm good and content with my singleness." But, I've seen since the beginning of December that this is true. Here is part of an email I sent a friend of mine back in December (edited):

I haven't blogged about this, because it is sorta awkward. I'm in a season of singleness that I'm pretty pleased about. I suppose if someone was interested in me, I would get some council and consider things. But, for now, I'm the best I've ever been with being single. It has been pretty freeing, actually. Not worried about marriage, etc.

It has been pretty neat working with my teen gals and using the Word to explain what it means to be single. If God promises to not withhold any good thing from me -- then I can know in faith that I can most actively and productively glorify God as a single woman. Doesn't mean it will never change. But, it has been wonderful.

In some ways, I'm back to where I started 10 years ago when I was career focused, ministry focused. Except this time (hopefully!!!!) I understand a bit more how to do in with Biblical Femininity. Not the feminist views I had before.

Sorta humorous to me that God had to teach me about Biblical Femininity, have me desire marriage, all to teach me how to be a godly woman in the market place. So, yes, I still do desire marriage, but for now, that is not what God has for me. I'll still read about marriage and seek to apply key things I've learned in ways appropriate, but now, I'm preparing to be single.

Rereading that email today brings thanksgiving to my lips again. Thank you, Lord for your mercies and grace in helping me to be content. In helping me to be more than content. In helping me to run hard after you.

I'm not perfect in it. There are moments of intense struggle. (Camping is intense too. Think about it. Say it out loud if you have to.)

Last night I had a very clear practical reminder that I was living the dream. The family I love to babysit for gave me flowers, chocolate, and each child wrote a Valentine's card for me. My heart and my eyes overflow. They are the reason I'm single. I get to babysit for them and love them and be a part of their lives. The teens are the reason I'm single. I get to talk to them, pray with them, be friends with them. My work is the reason I'm single. I get to regularly encourage and be encouraged by certain coworkers. I get to share the good news of Jesus with others. My family is the reason I'm single. I get to drop everything and help. I get to enjoy priceless moments of laughter and love in the daily routine of life. My church is why I'm single. (A joke could be inserted here about the lack of men my age... haha.) I get to serve in ways I never would imagine, constantly. My God is why I'm single. I'm not living my dream. I'm trying to live His.

Sometimes 22 words is all you need and can use to explain yourself.

2009-02-12T15:04:00.004-05:00

Several very distinct areas of my life converged today. It is exciting, but leaves me feeling vulnerable. Has this happened to you?

22 words

D.A.T.

2009-02-11T09:35:00.002-05:00

Oklahoma was hit by tornadoes last night.

And the American Red Cross is probably already on the scene.

Specifically, members of the Disaster Action Team from the local ARC chapter.

Last night, I officially became a member of the ARC Central Maryland Harford County D.A.T. And though saddened by disaster, I'm excited by the opportunities to help my local community.

I hope that eventually, I will be able to step away from the ARC, and work directly in a mercy ministry where I can share the gospel. But, for now, I'm honored to have the opportunity to serve in this way as a neutral figure representing not myself, but the Red Cross. Living for something bigger than myself.

Resolution Update: Week 6

2009-02-11T09:05:00.003-05:00

I'm not going to comment too much on the books I read this week for my New Year's Resolution.

I read:
Velvet Elvis
50 Weapons That Changed Warfare

I don't think I will be able to write a very edifying piece on Velvet Elvis.
And, I try to use this blog to edify and entertain (mostly myself).
I have a few good thoughts about the book, but in general, I'm either missing the really good stuff in the book, or there isn't much redeemable.

I know some people who love this book. So, if you love it, and you read this blog, please tell me what you love about it. I did read this book with a very biased approach, having just read Why We're Not Emergent.

I do know that some people like the social activism that the Emergent Church produces and upholds. And I think it is admirable and worthy of esteem when people love their neighbor as themselves. But, I believe that the truth of God's revealed will should be upheld. Not bendable like a spring in a trampoline. But, I would classify myself as a brick wall Christian. And I'm okay with that. (references to the book) Correct doctrine is important. Period. But so is loving one another. But, I don't think they are mutually exclusive. Correct doctrine should result in loving one another.

I won't share anything beyond those thoughts. And I'd like to hear your thoughts if you read Velvet Elvis. I promise to not attack you. I know I read it biased. So, help me to see the good stuff. I know I wasn't doing the responsible reader thing and looking for good.

As for 50 Weapons That Changes Warfare, it had interesting bits of history. Some things I've never heard of. Would I recommend it? I guess if you like this sort of thing. I stumbled across this title and the library had it available. My coworker and I discussed it. So, in that regard, it was worth it. It was also a good "work out" book. A book that I could read while burning calories. Not much thought required.

Dark Chocolate?

2009-02-10T16:04:00.005-05:00

I'm going to complain for a minute.

Those of you who know me in "real life" would hardly be surprised at my complaining -- which I often think of it as "sharing my opinions." (You also are not surprised at my use of " ". ha)

I'm going to risk this post, because I've been informed that several of my good friends never read my blog because they get to talk to me in "real life." (Ahem, Kristen.) So, I'm going to assume Becky never does either.

My complaint is about my hunt for something for my roommate/bf/woman-who-is-stuck-with-me-as-a-friend-forever for S.A.D. --(Single Awareness Day) a.k.a Valentine's Day for you married types.

I went to Godiva and Barnes & Noble for some kind of dark, cutely (but cheap) packaged, chocolate. I just want to give my friend a hunk of melt in your mouth wonderfulness to remind her that though she is single, getting chocolate is truly the only redeeming thing about February 14th -- single or married.

And all they had was MILK CHOCOLATE.

Sure, I could have spent $50 on D choc.

And I do love Beck. But not that much (haha).

I ended up buying Dark Chocolate bars. But, I wanted to buy her dark chocolate in a cute heart box! (said in the most whiny voice I can make...)

humph.

What gives?

And that, my friends, is my complaint. Godiva - next year, give me a little box of d choc in a heart for $5.50 like you did for milk choc. Don't discrimate against the chocolate purists.

And Becky, if you did read this, and you want to return the favor because you feel bad that I got you something (even though it is usually the other way around), I like the Godiva Dark Choc bars with Raspberry filling. To quote Paul Tripp on Saturday when someone gave him a bag of Godiva Chocolate, "My kingdom has come."

Please don't waste your time on the Lindt Dark Chocolate Raspberry bars. I don't like the creamy filling. I like the gooey filling of Godiva. But, I do like The Lindt Dark Chocolate Truffles. A Lot.

Just in case. ha

He went away sorrowful

2009-02-09T09:12:00.003-05:00

Matthew 19: 16-30

Mark 10:17-31

The two passages above tell the story of the Rich Young Man (or Ruler).

And on Saturday, for the first time in my life, I had a deep awareness of how similar I am to the man in the story. I should be surprised, and in some ways I wasn't. But, I was deeply affected.

I sat listening to Paul Tripp speak at his Quest for More Seminar at Capital Hill Baptist. I sat listening to him repeat things from his book -- things I had just read the previous week -- things that didn't affect me on paper as they did hearing them in real time.

I was overwhelmed hearing the call God has on our lives. I was overwhelmed being reminded of how often I function in the kingdom of self. The kingdom where I am the ruler and when my demands are not met, all H-E-Double Hockey Stick breaks loose. I was overwhelmed being reminded of the Kingdom of God and what He demands.

When we broke for lunch, I wanted to get in my car and leave. In my heart, I was hanging my head in shame. I wanted to walk away. I was crying out to God -- I can't do this. I can't give it all. I'm so sorry.

Normally, by the grace of God, I'm pretty good at reminding myself of the gospel. But, not Saturday. I ate my lunch. I was so torn. I was thinking about the Rich Young Man and how he walked away sad. Grieved.

Lord, help me!

And then the 2nd half of the Seminar started. And Tripp reminded us of the gospel. He walked us through it. And he reminded me of God's love for me. I was sitting in the 2nd row, and Tripp locked eyes with me, saying: Your Daddy loves you. And I was undone. My heart wept. I was right when I said: I can't do this. I can't give it all.

I can't. That is the good news. Christ did it for me. My Daddy loves me because of what Christ did. What He sent Christ to do.

So, I won't be able to live perfectly for His Kingdom. I'm still so often going to live for my own. But, I do have the power to keep putting that to death. But His grace, I will live for less of me and more of Him.

On Saturday, after this encounter with my Savior, I went away joyful.

Meet Bethany

2009-02-06T15:17:00.002-05:00

Apparently Bethany is going to be posting on the NEXT blog.
Of course she is a great friend of mine, so I'm going to do the only right thing and comment on everything she writes to poke fun, er I mean, encourage her.

9Marks

2009-02-06T14:30:00.001-05:00

9Marks posted this today.

I think that I agree with (at the very least) a phrase one commenter said: "I don't know that it's BAD news."

Thoughts?

Amazing Grace

2009-02-06T10:28:00.002-05:00

My coworker and friend randomly hums Amazing Grace during the day. She isn't aware that she does it because she is quick to blush and laugh when I bring it to her attention.

I, on the other hand, am always aware of it. And I appreciate it.

It is my little amazing means of grace -- reminding me of where I came from and where I am going.

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.

And Grace, my fears relieved.

How precious did that Grace appear

The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares

I have already come;

'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far

and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.

His word my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be,

As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease,

I shall possess within the veil,

A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years

Bright shining as the sun.

We've no less days to sing God's praise

Than when we've first begun.

Resolution Update: Week 5

2009-02-04T10:31:00.004-05:00

This week I read Paul David Tripp's Quest for More.

It reminded me of John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life - one of my favorite books. It didn't seem fair to compare them. But, I couldn't help it. Piper's intensity and passion stirs me up. I know his writing and speaking style is often discouraging to some. If that is you, then I would recommend Quest for More to you. If you are a Piper fan, the second half of Quest for More offers some different views on how "living for something bigger than yourself" can be practically applied in your life.

Why did I read Quest for More? Because Dan and I were in the bookstore and he pointed to the book and said that Paul David Tripp would be speaking at Capital Hill Baptist sometime soon. I figured that I might as well read it, because I'd like to hear him speak if I was available. (His book Age of Opportunity is also one of my favorite books.)

I'm glad I started the book when I did. Because after a quick search, I found out that Tripp will be at Capital Hill Baptist this Saturday. Lord willing, I'm going. And I'm excited to hear him speak and spend some time with a few friends who will also be attending.

New Year's Resolution
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
January Favorites

Pity Party

2009-02-03T08:56:00.006-05:00

I planned to do a post on the cure for a personal pity party (I threw many for myself this past weekend). I still want to do that post.

I never made it to my office yesterday because of an off site meeting and some personal things, but walking into my office this morning, I saw these sitting on my desk.

They are from the colleague who sent a different bouquet two weeks ago.

And though they aren't the godly cure to a pity party I was going to write about, they certainly are a nice touch!

I'm not watching the Superbowl Game.

2009-01-30T08:49:00.002-05:00

I can't remember the last time I missed it.
I wasn't particularly excited about it since the Ravens lost.
But, I received a better offer.
One that brought happy tears to my eyes.

Here was my offer from Mrs. Linda:

Hi Everyone,
Just wanted to let you know that Clay is on his way home right now from Iraq. I just got an e-mail last night saying that they will be flying into Ft. Dix, NJ on Sunday around 5 pm. I don't know if anyone would be interested in going with me, but I will be driving up there to welcome him and his unit back! Bob has to work all day and night on Sunday, (drats) and I'm not sure if Darin is going. So, if you are interested let me know and we could drive together or caravan up there! I know he would love to see some familiar faces. So, let me know. And I know it's Superbowl Sunday, so I'll understand if you can't. Thanks for all your support and prayers.

Resolution Update: January Favorites

2009-01-30T06:45:00.001-05:00

Top 3 books I read in January (in order of recommendation):

1. Future Grace

2. The Soloist

3. Why We're Not Emergent

Of all the books you read in January, what are your favorites?

Intentions

2009-01-29T11:06:00.006-05:00

Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg.

~unknown

One of the things that stuck out to me in Why We're Not Emergent is how truth is held at arm's length in the Emergent church. Actually. Scratch that. That didn't stick out to me because of the book. That has stuck out to me because of my liberal arts education where I took classes on post-modernism. The same classes where I learned how to pronounce Derrida and Foucault. I don't remember much of what I learned textually in the class. But, my professor was the quintessential post modernist. I'm sure he didn't intend to communicate rudeness by never showing up to class on time. I'm sure he didn't intend to communicate a disregard for those of us struggling with some of the statements he made on an emotional level.

He was a very nice man. And I did not have a problem speaking with him about unintended consequences of his social soliloquies. I remember the look of surprise on his face when he realized real people were being affected by the very things he was commenting on. It was as if it had not dawned on him that his philosophies might sound good, but we were dealing with a real world.

This was an intelligent man. A kind man. But, truth for him was not existent in the way the Bible defines it. He was a man of intentions, without concept of how intentions don't matter much when the consequences of his intentions communicated something far more dangerous and disastrous.

He was a post-modern philosopher. Similar in some ways to those who hold to the post-modern views as espoused to some degree in the emergent church.

At some point, the "truth" we believe will come out. The question is -- are we going to start with the Truth and use it as our Foundation and map which will influence how we go about our lives? (aka our world view) Or, are we going to go with what we think, what we intend, and let that shape the truth? (also a world view)

***For those who might be quick to point out that I've only read about book about the Emergent Church, as opposed to "experiencing it for myself", I do plan to read Velvet Elvis in the very near future. However, one does not need to "experience" something directly to make a judgement. I don't need to drink massive amounts of alcohol to know of the damage it can cause.
So, I will sip instead. Clearly I'm biased. And I'm okay with that.

New Attitude's New Name

2009-01-29T08:39:00.003-05:00

New Attitude has changed names to Next.

I can't believe that this year is NA's 10th year.
Sorta ages me a bit -- since I attended the FIRST one in 1999! Eek!

Next will be held in Baltimore (yippee!) over Memorial Day weekend this year and they have a great line-up of speakers:
CJ Mahaney
Josh Harris
Sinclair Ferguson
D.A. Carson
Kevin DeYoung (who coauthored a book I just finished)

Resolution Update, Week 4

2009-01-28T08:02:00.002-05:00

New Year's Resolution
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3

This week, I finished two books, and both of which I would fully recommend.

1. Why We're Not Emergent (by Two Guys Who Should Be)
Eric & Amanda recommended it for me, and lent me their copy.
Eric reviews it (sorta) here.
Amanda gives it her thumbs up as well.
Not a labor intensive read, but very informative. Very helpful church culture book.

2. Future Grace
I started this back in September and really, really took my time through it. If you borrowed my book, you would understand why I took so long to read it... I think I have notes on each page. I wish I could write some stunning review of it, but really, the best "review" I can give is: READ IT. Piper has it set up so you can read one chapter a day, for a month. Normally, I'd follow the author's suggestion. But, I'm glad I took my time going through this book. I'm STILL thinking several times a week about chapter one.

Um, Relaxing?

2009-01-27T08:33:00.005-05:00

Funny how I post on relaxing yesterday, and my day was anything but. My weekend quickly became a distant memory.

I don't like to use the word "stressful," but I'm not sure what else to call it. A friend reminded me of some truth after my desperate plea to her.

I finished Future Grace last night. And my reaction to my day yesterday was not a godly reaction, applying what I've learned in how to live with faith.

No matter what today is like, yesterday was another reminder that:
1. I need God to see me as He sees His Son. Which He does, thankfully, because of Christ's death on the cross.
2. I need my friends that will remind me of the truth.
3. Reading a book is far easier than applying the truth that is found in the book.

So, here is to another day.
Fresh start.
Because His promises are new every morning.

Just one more week!

2009-01-26T10:56:00.003-05:00

Clayton will be headed home this weekend from Iraq. We don't have all the details we would like, but be praying for his safe return!

Relaxing

2009-01-26T09:09:00.004-05:00

I spent most of my weekend relaxing.
And I needed it.

Providentially, scriptures that I read during my extended quiet times this weekend were 2 Corinthians 4-5.

These scriptures speak a lot about the outer body wasting away, and reminded me to the greater glory we are called to. Often when I have time to relax, I give it up. I'll go out with a friend, or work, or clean, etc. But, Friday night, Saturday morning, and Sunday afternoon were filled with extra sleep, extended times with the Lord, and reading.

If you didn't get the quiet weekend that I did, I hope that these scriptures remind you of the glory that awaits.

2 Corinthians 4:16:

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

2 Corinthians 5:1-10

1For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, 3if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. 4For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.

6So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 7for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

Allie Noske

2009-01-23T12:26:00.000-05:00

Member of Grace Community Church has her testimony from New Attitude on their site.

Resolution Question

2009-01-23T12:22:00.002-05:00

One that I've thought but Amy asked: Do audio books count?

Aretha's Hat

2009-01-21T11:58:00.000-05:00

It is everywhere!

Resolution Update: Week 3

2009-01-21T08:48:00.004-05:00

I finished The Soloist in the third week of my New Year's Resolution. And I loved it.

It is the true story of Nathaniel Ayers as told by Los Angeles Times columnist Steve Lopez. Lopez originally wrote a series of columns about Ayers for the Times, drawing attention to mental illnesses and life on the street in 2005. Since then, The Soloist was written, and the movie is due out April 24, 2009.

What I most appreciated about the book was Lopez's honest assessment of his own struggles with Ayers. He often wondered if he could hack this friendship with Ayers - if he had the patience and the heart to have this different friendship with a man with schizophrenia who once was a student at Juilliard and now lived on the streets of L.A.

As I read the book, I wondered if this is often what it can be like to be a parent with a wayward child. If, for your own sanity, it is easier to walk away then to keep at it. Many times, Lopez was ready to walk away. But, at the last minute, Ayers came through on whatever the current issue was. Lopez, and others, were instrumental in seeing Ayers go from living on the street, to living in an apartment, where he still lives today.

There is no great happy ending to Ayers. He does not suddenly "get better." But, the book is a brief glimpse into his life and the lives he has touched and the lives that have touched him.

Happy Inauguration Day!

2009-01-20T09:40:00.002-05:00

President Bush, Thank you for your service. May you continue to find ways to serve this nation.

President Obama, I'm praying for you. You have a great task at hand, and a lot of people are really counting on you. No man can withstand this pressure. I pray that your first course of action each day is to call out to God for strength.

Too Pretty

2009-01-19T12:01:00.002-05:00

I was an English major for a good reason! But, my oldest (not in age, but in time) friend and current roommate was a Math major and Physics minor. I think that part of the reason we talk well together is that we have the same goals, but go through the thought process differently.

Our minds process things differently. We share what our thoughts are, and learn from one another.

Nonetheless. I couldn't resist buying this new magnet for our fridge!

Flowers!

2009-01-16T16:06:00.003-05:00

I love receiving flowers at work.

Actually, I just love receiving flowers.

A business colleague sent them a year ago around V-day.

My mom sent them.

And I just received some again from the same business colleague.

I've had a very insane week.

Yesterday, I mentioned to him (and his wife) how wonderful it was last year when he sent them to me.

So, he sent me some today.

I think I could actually cry!

I just might.

Happy Birthday!

2009-01-16T08:40:00.003-05:00

1/16, Joe Flacco

1/17, Derrick Mason

And watch out Steelers! They are quite the team!

Despondancy

2009-01-15T09:27:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, I received some news that I responded to in a way that I would not have preferred. My pulse beat harder, but God's grace intervened and I immediately emailed some friends to pray for me. Before I could click "send" for that email, God's grace intervened again and helped me to respond in faith as I had to verbalize my trial to my boss.

In the email to the few friends, I said

"Seeing that my heart rate sky rocketed when I was told this, I figured that I could use some prayer. I'm not sure exactly what it is that I am afraid of or what it is that I'm not trusting about God. But, my initial reaction was one of fear."

Last night, I read a chapter from Future Grace. Here is a quote that helped encourage me last night (as well as the responses from friends):

The first shockwaves of the blast of despondency are not the sin. The sin is in not turning on the air-raid siren, and not heading for the bomb shelters, and not deploying the antiaircraft weapons. If Satan drops a bomb on your peace, and you don't make ready for war, people are going to wonder whose side you're on.

I hope I'm only prepping for war, but will not be called up into active duty. I'm thankful that God was quick to extend grace and remind me of His promises so quickly. It makes the fight for faith in future grace a sweet thing (though not easy!).

Resolution Update: Week 2

2009-01-14T10:22:00.002-05:00

This past week has not been one conducive to reading much.

I had a Cross Current Meeting, a Wedding Shower, a Play-off Game, a trip to D.C., Care Group, and I've worked late the last two days.

I did finish The Natural. I don't recommend it. I've heard that the movie is really good, but the book is sorta depressing -- full of unwise choices that leave me feeling discouraged if I think about it.

I'm still reading Future Grace. And I'm taking my time through this one. There is much to be learned and retained.

I started The Soloist. It has been made into a movie that is due out this Spring. The book has been on the best seller list. I hope it is like The Secret Life of Bees in that I enjoyed both the book and the movie thoroughly!

After I read Future Grace, I'm torn between reading Desiring God or John Stott's Basic Christianity next. I suppose it doesn't matter all that much. I plan to take my time through either of those choices.

Updates on your Resolution?

Salt Pile

2009-01-13T17:10:00.002-05:00

Everyone knows the Salt Piles on 1-95 near the tunnel, if you live in or near the area.

And if you have ever been in the car with me when we drive past them, I talk about the Port of Baltimore and the family run business (Rukert Terminals) that owns that land.

Well, my good friends over at Rukert are in the Festivus Spirit!

Maturity & Discipline in the Body & Soul

2009-01-13T14:25:00.004-05:00

My body is maturing (much nicer word then getting older).
It is just how it is.
And though I'm still young compared to come, I can feel the aging process.
So far, I haven't really felt the effects of getting older.
Perhaps enjoying the outdoors by hiking, kayaking, walking, and other athletics has helped.

On Friday night, at my church's parent youth ministry, we had "competition night." I fared pretty well against those I went against in gladiator jousting. I can attribute this to the frame the Lord has given me -- the right proportions of muscle and thickness in key areas. But, I can also attribute this to the discipline of working out. I'm in the best shape I've been in for the last 8-10 years. Not perfect shape. But decent shape.

During one of the matches, my hand was hit. During another (or perhaps the same?), my jaw was hit. As well as general blows as my challenger tried to knock me off the platform.

Besides the fact that it was late and I was exhausted from a long week at work, I could have kept going. It was fun and my body was holding up.

Until the morning. When I had to wake up to prepare for Bethany's Wedding Shower. I felt like I had been beat up. The I realized I had been beat up. My hand was swollen. My jaw was throbbing. And I thought, I'm getting old.

Sunday after church, about a dozen of us went to DC to visit the National Art Gallery and to go ice skating in the Sculpture Garden. I enjoyed it a lot. I went as fast as I could and pushed myself as much as I could ice skating. And then I fell. Thankfully, I've fallen on my knees enough to know how to try to not land on them. So, the initial impact was just above my right knee and on my upper torso. I slid like I was steeling home. It was a "fun" fall. Only Jesse saw it, and I came up meeting his eyes, smiling. We laughed. Whatever.

I kept going. I skated and fellowshiped with Lisa and then Steve for a while. My muscles would have kept going if my brain wasn't so tired. Working out was finally paying off. I wasn't out of breath or energy.

But, Monday morning, I felt like I had been beat up again. My jaw was a bit sore still. My hand still not quite right. And now, my knee was tender and swollen and now purplish. It is Tuesday and it is still tender and swollen and purplish.

It literally took everything I had to propel myself out of bed Monday morning. I was wide awake, but I could barely move. Pastor Matt preached on the importance of a daily quiet time Sunday morning, and here I am, about to not have my quiet time because I can't get out of bed. So, I decided that I would pray. While I was praying, I realized that Physical Maturity and Discipline is similar to Spiritual Maturity and Discipline. Of course, Paul writes about this when he says in 1 Timothy 4: 7-9:

Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance.

As I prayed and meditated on these verses, I began to laugh in spite of myself. Here I was, in the best shape I've been in for years, yet I needed more recovery time then I've ever needed. The effects of "being beat up" were lasting much longer than in previous years. My body was realizing the impact of each blow. They were significant. (I'm a teacup, after all... hahaha to those who witnessed my jousting.) Giving and receiving the hits, and falling on the ice, I was feeling the effects of my weekend.

Isn't this what happens as we grow spiritually? By the grace of God, I'm growing in certain areas. God's grace in helping me to be more and more disciplined through the years in how I'm reading, what I'm reading, and how often I'm reading has strengthened me. I'm not perfect, and ask anyone who lives life with me and they will confirm that I still have a long way to go. But, I see the results.

And like the maturity and discipline in my body, the spiritual maturing and disciplining has helped me to push through in key moments. Not perfectly, but I know that by the grace of God I preach the gospel to myself more often then I did last year, and the year before that, and the year before that. But, sin also seems to have a more significant impact. I'm far more prone to fall further into condemnation and discouragement at times. As I draw closer to the cross, I'm more aware of my need for it and the significance of sin. When I look away from the cross, that is when condemnation and discouragement sets in.

So, by the grace of God, with each year that comes, I'm more and more aware of my need for daily (sometimes more than once a day) times with the Lord. Like my physical body, my soul needs recovery time. More and more time with my Savior as I recognize my need for Him more and more.

Though it is kinda a pain (pun intended) for my body, I have to say, I hope that this trajectory continues with my soul. Getting "more mature" isn't all that bad.

Christin Dicker

2009-01-12T09:27:00.001-05:00

Member of Grace Community Church has her testimony from New Attitude on their site.

Not the Post I Wanted

2009-01-12T08:31:00.005-05:00

Today, I had a post planned regarding Maturity and Discipline in the Body and Soul. Perhaps I will get to that later.

Instead, I ask for you to be praying for friends of mine. My coworker's son's best friend was killed Friday. CJ lived across from his high school, and was stepping on the curb to his front lawn when another teenager, who was speeding, hit him.

Please be praying for all the families involved. I know that if my coworker and I just spent part of the morning crying, then I can't imagine how the other families must feel during this tragedy.

Ed Reed is Everywhere!

2009-01-08T12:38:00.002-05:00

Janet sent me the previous post (or rather, the poem).

Steve O. just sent me this picture.

Love it!

By the way, Baltimore is lit up again with purple lights!

Happy Festivus [Maximus]!

2009-01-08T09:47:00.005-05:00

Happy Festivus [going to be Maximus]!

First a history on Festivus Maximus via Wiki:
"Festivus" is a term used by the Baltimore Ravens of the National Football League (NFL) and their fans to denote the NFL Playoffs. During the 2000 season, Ravens head coach Brian Billick banned his players from using the word "playoffs" during the season as he wanted his players to focus on every game and not look ahead. Players substituted the term "festivus" for playoffs and "festivus maximus" for the Super Bowl. The Ravens eventually went on to win the Super Bowl that season.

(I didn't write this... but enjoy!)

The Night Before Festivus

'Twas the night before Festivus, when all through Charm City
Ravens fans were stirring and even felt giddy.
The jerseys were hung by the chimney with flare,
In hopes that Joe Flacco soon would be there.

The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of the playoffs danced in their heads.
And when we awoke and January 10th was the date,
We just settled down for a winter's tailgate,

When out in the end zone there arose such a clatter,
The opponent looked over to see what was the matter.
The season had boiled down to one single game
as the players were looking for more than just fame

And what to my wondering eyes looked intense,
For it was Ray Lewis...and the Baltimore defense.
A terrifying unit, so lively and quick,
They'll hit you, they'll haunt you, or even grab the pick.
More rapid than wolves these hunters they came,
And Ray whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"T-Sizzle! now, JJ! now, Bannan, Haloti!
On, Trevor! on Leonhard! on, Reed and Samari!
To the top of the mountain! to the top of the hill!
Knock them out! Get the ball! Now in for the kill!"

And then, the offense, led by a menacing line,
Came onto the field and was ready to fly.
A three-headed monster was at running back,
led by McClain, a big rumbling mack.
And Mason the veteran, with his shoulder so sore,
Kept reining in passes, one, two, three, more!

And finally, a sight so perfect, so new;
a quarterback to be proud of, a little like Johnny U.
Joe Flacco was ready to take the city by storm,
his cannon for an arm much better than norm,
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And led them downfield, the fans going berserk.

The Ravens were ready to give such a gift
to the fans of Baltimore who needed the lift.
Coach Harbaugh exclaimed, while his team looked so sleek,
"Happy Festivus to all, and we'll see you next week."

Resolution Update

2009-01-07T12:27:00.002-05:00

New Year's Resolution 2009

People participating at some level:
Amy
Amy
Tracy
Eric
Amanda
Dan
Stephanie
Joe
Kurt
DeAnn (though not confirmed)
Me

So far, I've completed 4 books (3 I had started before 2009).
At Risk (Patricia Cornwell)
Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States (Dave Barry)
Islam and the Cross (Samuel Zwemer)
Miracles (C.S. Lewis)

At Risk: I don't really recommend this on the basis of good literature. I read it because once in a while I like to read a mass market fiction book. For no reason other than the same reason we all flip stations on our radio. Just because.

Dave Barry Slept Here: My cousin got me into Dave Barry this summer. A funny, witty writer who is not as sarcastic as some of the "talking heads."

Islam and the Cross: Here is how I commented on Tracy's blog:

I just finished reading “Islam and the Cross.” I don’t recommend it. The first couple of chapters were good, but the last 1/2 was not very helpful, and in general was very confusing.
There has to be better books out there on that subject. And if there isn’t? Well, then I might just pick up a secular book on Islam and inform myself that way.

Miracles: I prefer Lewis's fiction. Or so I've discovered. Or maybe I just didn't love Miracles. I liked Mere Christianity a lot. Who knows. I took some good things out of it. My book is dog-eared (my "underlining" process for the books I read when I'm doing cardio). I have a few more nonfiction Lewis I hope to get to; so, we will see if it was just this book or a personal Lewis preference. On a side note -- Lewis really is a remarkable writer. Two have two different genres that continue to be read.

I'm currently reading Future Grace.
Again, a comment I wrote on Tracy's blog:

Each chapter leaves me feeling 1. more in awe of God’s faithfulness to us, 2. more in awe of His grace, 3. more aware of my lack of faith and trust, 4. more aware of my need for Him.

I'm also reading The Natural. I've never seen the movie with Robert Redford. Doubt I will. The book is interesting because I like baseball. But, nothing to gush about, at this point.

What have YOU read? What are you reading?

New Year's Eve 2008

2009-01-06T09:23:00.006-05:00

Two of my very dear friends.

Allyson and Amanda.

I like this picture of us a lot, and couldn't help but to post it. (Thanks for sending it over Amanda... though this wasn't what I originally needed it for.)

And of course, in my humble opinion, we look lovely. :o)

My First New Year's Resolution... Ever

2009-01-01T14:45:00.003-05:00

I've never made a New Year's Resolution. Unless of course you count my resolution to not make a resolution. One that I've faithfully kept for years. Earlier this week, I linked to a post from the blog Between Two Worlds. It was an article written by Karl Rove about a competition he and the current president have had for the last couple of years.

It got me thinking... so, I emailed my friend Dan, since he and I had been talking about needing to read more. I invited him to join with me in my resolution. But, then I was getting really excited and couldn't wait for him to answer. So, I emailed my friend Amy. And after getting some counsel from her husband, she joined with me. For the record, Dan did too... as did DeAnn, her hubby Kurt, our friend Eric, and maybe even Tracy. We each have a different level of commitment.

Amy's husband recommended that she doesn't say a book a week... instead, she should aim for 52 books. This gives more flexibility, and lowers the competitiveness. In other words, this helps to reduce the desire to read a bunch of short, easy books. Sure, there will be some of those, but that gives the flexibility to take a few weeks on a thicker book, or a book that should be read at a slower pace, for absorption purposes. I'm taking her husband's counsel for myself.

Dan doesn't think that he will be able to read 52 books in a year. But, he wants to try. His goal is more or less to just read more (Dan feel free to elaborate here or on your blog!). Dan also mentioned the desire to read some books at the same time as others for discussion purposes. I think this is a great idea. And, this also opens us up to some discussion on the other books we are reading. If a book is not a keeper (like my first book of the year Islam and the Cross), we can tell one another to not waste their time reading it.

Kurt is in the military and is in training right now. The reality for him is that he doesn't have access to the same kind of time the rest of us do. Sometimes he has more, and sometimes none. And he doesn't have access to the variety of books that we do. But he is a very teachable man and enjoys learning.

DeAnn is interested, but I didn't get a feel exactly for what, if any her commitment level would be. But, she is a reader, and I'm sure that she will do what she can and pass along recommendations. I'm indebted to DeAnn for her many suggestions in the genre of Missionary Biographies. Not only do they make for great beach reading, but they stir me up!

Eric (and his wife Amanda) are great friends of mine. And Eric is a teacher, leader, and pastor at heart. The last couple of years he has spent reading more and more to equip himself for the various ways God has him serving, as well as in preparation for the possibility of being a pastor one day. Eric has challenged me in many areas, suggestion great thick books for me to read. (Which I still haven't yet... but it is my wish list!)

Tracy and I seem to enjoy the same kinds of books and I am eagerly anticipating the arrival of Anderson Cooper's book that she recommended. (I got it for a penny plus S&H on Amazon! Yippee!) Tracy loves to read, but has not officially joined the loose commitment to read a book a week. She is a wise woman who knows her weaknesses. She knows that she will neglect chores and various other priorities (she has two foster kids, and two wonderful kids of her own).

Last night, on New Year's Eve, we all talked about it (except for Amy... the whole living in Seattle thing tends to put a damper face to face conversations). We talked about how the goal is to read more. The competition is nice because it lends itself to some fun and accountability.

I will be posting the books I have read in 2009 here on my blog. I've already finished two books today (we discussed that books we began in 2008, but finished in 2009 count), and am looking forward to a year of intentionally reading more.

Here is the email I sent to my friends, asking them to join with me. Feel free to join with us, or :

I came across this article by Karl Rove via the blog "Between Two Worlds."
http://sec.online.wsj.com/article/SB123025595706634689.html
I thought this might be helpful to encourage both of us to read more in 09 (as if we really need encouragement...)
If President Bush could read at least a book a week for the last couple of years, I'm thinking that we are without excuse.
I'm not one big for New Year's Resolutions (probably because of my pride -- I don't like to fail; so, often I don't challenge myself to "do hard things"). But, I'm thinking that I might have a New Year's Resolution -- read at least a book a week.
I'd issue a challenge to you, but then that would leave us with a problem -- who would be President Bush, and who would be Karl Rove? Rove, the better reader, or Bush, the leader of the free world. Hmmmm. haha
So, take it as a fun challenge of sorts, or take it as a serious resolution to read more in 2009. But, since I want to try more risks for the glory of God -- I challenge you to the same that Rove and Bush. Any book will count (call me a nerd... but, I've found that a wide variety of books has always been helpful to my spiritual growth -- secular or "Christian")... loser buys winner book of his/her choosing.
Feel free to issue the challenge to others. But, I'm thinking that you and I probably have about the same about of "free" time. Or maybe we have more "free" time then we think... once again... W. read a lot. Let me know if you are in. I might have to recruit another victim... I mean volunteer if you aren't interested. :o)

A Year Ago & My Sister

2008-12-30T08:40:00.007-05:00

Last year, Christmas time went well, for the most part. Except for that nagging little thing that my parents decided to point out to me: my singleness. One thing lead to another, and I did not handle it with grace... at all. Instead, old Michele came to the discussion. Or, should we say argument. And heated, loud words were exchanged. Accusations were made. And I cried, sobbed, and cried more.

My parents were by no means trying to make me feel bad. Actually, part of the problem was that they did not know that I was already feeling bad. They had no idea that I struggled with my singleness. And I didn't realize that. I thought that I had been open with them, but I wasn't.

I laugh now at my thinking that I was open with them in this area. I laugh now because I know that I viewed my struggle with singleness as a weakness in me, and I don't like my parents, especially my father, to see my weaknesses. I desperately want to be perfect for him. (See "Brokenland Parkway" series from May.)

Here is how last year ended, if you want to read what God did in my family and how He ministered to me.

I look back at that time a year ago, and though I struggled again with my singleness in 2008, truths that I learned at the end of 2007 ministered to me. God reminded me, with the help of friends, why He has me single.

But, one of the best things that came out of last year is the growing relationship with my sister. I invited her to New Attitude in the midst of the emotional outbreak of the singleness discussion. Before New Attitude, during Care Group, we discussed chapter 5 from John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life - "Risk is Right-Better to Lose Your Life Than to Waste It." Pastor Matt asked us if we had been taking any risks for the glory of God. Tracy blogged about hers. And I don't think I blogged about mine. So, here is it.

*****************************

My risk was inviting, and taking my sister to New Attitude. She hadn't really been involved in church for a few years, though she attended my mom's when she was home from college and when she was in high school. I lived my life differently than she did, and we had different friends (of course, we are 8 years apart). A few years ago, God put it on my heart to try to enter her world. I learned how to go shopping (which has paid off!), how to care about my outward appearance (took me long enough!), and which t.v. shows, etc were important to a teen.

By going to New Attitude, Breanne was entering my world. And I was nervous. I knew this change our relationship. But I didn't know how.

Piper writes:
Why is there such a thing as risk? Because there is such a thing as ignorance. If there were no ignorance there would be no risk. Risk is possible because we don't know how things will turn out. This means that God can take no risks. He knows the outcome of all his choices before they happen. ....

Risk is right. And the reason is not because God promises success to all our ventures in his cause. There is no promise that every effort for the cause of God will succeed, at least not in the short run. John the Baptist risked calling King Herod an adulterer when he divorced his own wife in order to take his brother's wife. For this John got his head chopped off. And he had done right to risk his life for the cause of God and truth. Jesus had no criticism for him, only the highest praise (Matthew 11:11).

I remember thinking when I picked Breanne up to head to the staging area for our group's drive, Well, this is it. Breanne knows all the junk about me and how I am and she is going to see a different side of me. I wondered if she would believe it. I thought about all the times I had sinned against her. How often she was the recipient of a sinful fowl mood. How my "administrative gift" was often just me bossing her around.

I wondered if she ever saw me as the new creation I am. I wondered if she ever saw God at work in me. I prayed and asked God to do a work in both of us. For Him to put the fear of man to death in me, as well as my selfishness, and for God to enliven her spirit to Him.

And what happened?

I'm excited to say that my relationship with my sister is more than the natural familial bond we share. She is my friend. And we continue to grow closer and closer -- planning to meet together specifically to fellowship since she has transferred colleges and has moved back home. We have the same group of friends now.

As she and I sat in the midst of our friends watching the football game Sunday (thanks Bickels for hosting!), I noticed that we were both equally comfortable. And this past year, when I was struggling with my singleness? My sister was one of the first people I told. And I wasn't ashamed to let her see me struggle and cry. I wasn't afraid to let her see the real Michele.

So, last year at Christmas time, God began a work in me and my sister that I never expected. He used a struggle, sin, and a risk. God is a faithful God.

Again, Piper writes: On the far side of every risk-even if it results in death-the love of God triumphs. This is the faith that frees us to risk for the cause of God. It is not heroism, or lust for adventure, or courageous self-reliance, or efforts to earn God's favor. It is childlike faith in the triumph of God's love-that on the other side of all our risks, for the sake of righteousness, God will still be holding us. We will be eternally satisfied in him. Nothing will have been wasted. ....
And now what about you? Are you caught in the enchantment of security, paralyzed from taking any risks for the cause of God? Or have you been freed by the power of the Holy Spirit from the mirage of Egyptian safety and comfort? Do you men ever say with Joab, "For the sake of the name, I'll try it! And may the LORD do what seems good to him"? Do you women ever say with Esther, "For the sake of Christ, I'll try it! And if I perish, I perish"?

Happy New Year!

I hope and pray that your new year is full of faith-filled risks for the glory of God!

A special thank you to all the men and women who have befriended my sister in the last year. Your faithfulness reduces me to tears each time I think of it. I truly thank God for you. And I look forward to seeing how God rewards each of you.

Bush's Books

2008-12-29T12:09:00.001-05:00

Interesting post on Between Two Worlds...

I agree with Deborah

2008-12-29T11:35:00.004-05:00

I agree with Deb's post on the Grace Community vs. Sovereign Grace Football Game.

Great job men on the sportsmanship!

And ladies who were watching the game -- though we froze (I didn't thaw until the evening!), I had a blast with you!

A Military Family's Christmas

2008-12-29T11:23:00.003-05:00

I received the following on Christmas from dear friend of mine. I teared up talking to his wife before Christmas, knowing that this Christmas would be a bit more difficult for them. And I cried when I read his email. I cried for them, I cried for another dear family I know, and I cried for me. Because, most likely, next year, I will experience these emotions for myself when Stephen is overseas. I hope that the email below reminds you in a fresh way of God's sacrifice sending His Son to earth. And please keep praying for military families during this season.

Today it is Christmas – my 50th Christmas. It is my 25th Christmas with children of my own, and it is my first Christmas with a son who is fighting a war overseas. It is mornings like this that the lump forms in my throat and the tears well up in my eyes as I think about the distance that he is from me, the conditions in which he is living and the kind of Christmas he will have to celebrate. I think about the presents that will remain unopened under my tree until that time, Lord willing, he returns. When we read the Christmas story, his seat will be left open and when we finish the bacon, eggs and sweet rolls, there will be one less plate to wash.

Then I think of that first Christmas. There was a Father and he was the perfect Father, who sent his Son off to a place much more dangerous and for a mission that would change history. He sent his Son behind enemy lines, without uniform or weapon, just wrapped in rags and entrusted to an uneducated carpenter and a teen-aged mother. And when the Father sent his only Son Jesus, he knew that he would not return alive.

The Christmas story has a totally new perspective when it comes to the sacrifices that the Son and the Father made for my salvation, for my rescue. They went to war with my sin, not because I asked for it, but because I needed it.

This Christmas, I hope you remember the love of the Father and the sacrifice of the Son in a deeper way.

Doesn't Seem Fair

2008-12-22T10:09:00.002-05:00

Today, the windows of my work building literally have ice caked on the inside. Apparently the heat went up this weekend, but has since been restored. I'm freezing.

And yesterday, Becky sent me this picture from Florida.

I'm so jealous.

Thank You, Brothers

2008-12-18T09:14:00.003-05:00

This morning, my normal hour commute was doubled. I prayed for my teen gals, then popped some Piper teaching into my CD player. The title: Avoiding Sexual Sin: Pitfalls & Protections.

Piper talked about sacrifice of "pleasure" in the message -- for the glory of God. God's glory is more important than any temporal pleasure we might experience on earth.

And my heart grew very thankful for three Brothers in the Lord in my life.

A friend needed a double "date" for this Friday. I told her I'd do my best to come through for her. I prayed about inviting a non-believer so that he could meet some of my friends. But, a double "date" is too date-like for someone who does not share my convictions. It would be leading him on and it would be cruel. Best to keep our interactions limited to a passing conversation every now and again where I share the gospel.

So, I asked three men within the course of this week if they were available to accompany me. Gentlemen - Pat, Dan, and Jon - I cannot thank God enough for you today. Though plans fell through for Friday and you could not make it anyway, I am so appreciative for you. Not to say that I wouldn't have had fun with someone else, but I knew that each of you have displayed a purity in your lives and in your interactions with me and other women. I was perfectly comfortable in asking each of you, knowing that things would not be misconstrued.

As I listened to Piper's messages, I was thankful for these men and others who help me to avoid the pitfalls of sexual sin. Yes, I am responsible to flee sexual temptation. And I must, by the grace of God, for the glory of God. But, knowing that there are brothers in my life who are fighting this battle with me, helps me as a single woman.

I talked to another good friend on the phone last night on my drive home. I told her that I thought I was doing well in my singleness -- until I couldn't find a date. I said to her, "Guess this is what I get for weeding certain men out of my life. Not too many men to ask." We laughed. After we hung up, I prayed, "Lord, thank you for my singleness. Thank you for the ways you have enabled me to use it for your glory. I know I have been doing the hard things You have asked. Please help me to be joyful and accepting in the reality of being single."

I called the gal-friend I was supposed to double with. I planned to tell her, "Look, I've tried, and it is stressing me out. I don't mind being a third wheel if you don't mind."

Instead, she said, "It has been cancelled. Wanna come over for dinner at my place instead?"

God used this experience to help me to be even more thankful for the brothers in my life, share the gospel, go to Him in prayer for help, and still spend time with my gal-friend. Brothers -- it is hard to explain how protected and cared for a single woman feels when she can ask for help in this way. Knowing that there are friends who can help serves us well!

I'd say that it was a pretty good experience after all. God was faithful to meet my needs, again.

Highest Ranking Members of My Family

2008-12-17T14:49:00.003-05:00

Mom had her coworkers over for a Christmas Party.
I'm willing to bet she didn't even mention her real kids. I wouldn't have when you have these "kids" around. (scroll down to the bottom of the pictures)

Platelets and Pride

2008-12-16T10:14:00.005-05:00

I try to give platelets often via the American Red Cross. I have a high platelet count; so, every 2 weeks, I can give a "triple." I sit hooked to a machine, with needles in both arms for a few hours. (Inevitably, my nose itches and I can't scratch it!)

I switched donor centers since I moved. And my new donor lady (they have an official name that I can't pronounce or spell) commented on my platelet count, my iron, and my blood pressure. And I always feel so proud of myself for having high platelets and iron, and low blood pressure. As if I have something to do with it.

Sure, working out has greatly lowered my blood pressure. So, I did have something to do with that, but God has given me the self control to keep up with it for the past year. And I can take a few iron pills, but in reality, I have never had low iron. With or without the pills. And I don't eat a lot of red meat. I just have a varied, healthy (for the most part) diet.

But the platelets? There is nothing I can do to increase or decrease them. It is genetic. But, I get so proud of myself when the blood ladies gush over my numbers.

As I sat hooked to the machine Monday, I started laughing to myself.

When someone encourages us, we can so often let pride swell up -- as if we have something to do with it. God is the one who supplies us with the grace to do what we might be encouraged in. Sure, there are actions we need to take - like exercising to lower my blood pressure, or taking iron pills just to be sure my count is high enough, or actually scheduling the Red Cross appointment to donate them and sit for a few hours every couple of weeks.

But, in the end, there is nothing I can do to build up more platelets. It is God. So, I'm convicted about my pride. Next time when I donate, I will say, "I'm thankful for the opportunity to give." And I'll get hooked up, and hope that my nose won't itch.

And each time I am encouraged, I hope to keep reminding myself that it truly is the grace of God at work.

Firsts

2008-12-15T09:22:00.003-05:00

I had my first volunteer experience with the American Red Cross Saturday.
And I enjoyed it a lot!

I also cooked my first venison roast Sunday. And the few bites I had were delicious (it is for lunch and dinner this week).

Also, on a not good note -- I was called a Feminist for the first time by someone this weekend. It was a friend who was lovingly challenging some thoughts I had. She was right. Except I'm still "frustrated" by the reality of the situation. I suppose standards will always be different for men and women. Which is where some of my Feminist thinking comes into play -- wanting everything equal, not just equal value and worth. Having to remind myself that we are equal in value but different in roles wasn't "fun."

I think that we can often think that we can tackle an area of struggle and be done with it. But, some things run so deep that it is a constant fight. This is where God's grace comes in. He allowed a friend to remind me that my thinking was off. That I wasn't thinking with a scripturally informed view. Instead, I was allowing a wrong world view come into play.

It is that time of year...

2008-12-12T15:33:00.002-05:00

When everyone has comments about your singleness.
When everyone wants to set you up with someone.
(Even if they are engaged!)

Good thing I didn't tell these ladies that I'm spending the evening alone. And that I'm looking forward to it!

(FYI to my married friends -- I do take set-ups... but please use some degree of discernment. I'm not desperate. Just single.)

Good News for Baby Hannah!

2008-12-12T08:32:00.001-05:00

From Tracy:

Great news has arrived fast! Brandon just called and Hannah has been released. He actually misunderstood the doctor and she didn't have bronchitis...but her symptoms gave the doctors reason to be concerned that she could develop RSV, which is dangerous. They checked her mucus and she was fine, praise the Lord!
They are on their way home, relieved!
Thanks for the prayers & praise to God who answered even before many of us had time to pray!

Another update from the dad, Brandon:

Thank you all for your prayers. Praise God! We are home from the hospital! Hannah checked out 100% at the ER and the test came back negative for the RSV infection (this was the concern of what the doctor thought the bronchitis could turn into). Apparently, the doctor at the radiology place must have incorrectly read the x-rays and told our doctor that Hannah had bronchitis. We will follow-up with Hannah's doctor tomorrow, but we thank God for watching over Hannah and us in this scary time. Take care.---Brandon

Prayer for Baby Hannah

2008-12-11T16:00:00.001-05:00

Tracy just sent me this email concerning Annie & Brandon's baby girl.

Hi All...
I just got off the phone with Brandon and he asked that I get in touch with you all to share what's going on.
Hannah has bronchitis and they are on their way to GBMC, where she will stay for the night to be monitored. Brandon was very shaken up and scared and expressed that Annie is pretty upset too.
He asked that you pass this information on to the care group so that people can be praying.
Brandon's parents are staying at their home to care for their dog, so that is taken care of, and he didn't know of anything else he needed at this time.
Please pray!
Thanks,Trace

Happy Birthday, Buddy

2008-12-11T14:19:00.003-05:00

Stephen,

You cried the first time I held you.

Now, you wrap your arms around me when I cry.

I love you.

Happy Birthday, Buddy.

You are still my favorite brother.

(You are my least favorite as well, haha.)

Sugar

2008-12-11T12:29:00.004-05:00

My coworker just shared with me this humorous story.

Last night, she was making dough for the best sugar cookies in the world. She needed more sugar, so she called her wonderful husband who was already out. (Not being facetious -- he really is wonderful!) She asked him to get her 5lbs of sugar.

He came in the door with it, and also with a bad mood. She asked him what was wrong. He has a bad back and said, "This is really heavy! I bought extra so you won't run out."

"How much extra did you buy?" she asks.

"10 lbs total."

She inspects his purchases. "Um, honey. 1 bag of sugar is 5 lbs."

He thought 1 bag of sugar is 1 lb.

He bought a total of 100 lbs of sugar.

Godliness with Contentment

2008-12-11T09:13:00.003-05:00

A few days ago, I emailed some ladies a pseudo blog post.
One that I would post, if only women read my blog. (If you are a woman and read my blog and would like the email, please let me know.)

Sorry men. You probably don't want to know certain things.

But, I can share something that has come out of it.

I shared a story of my struggle with contentment. How no matter what happens, I find myself complaining about it, even if I get what I want.

I Timothy 6:6-7 says, "Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world."

I have been laughing at some of the email responses I've received, and it is good to know that each woman has had a similar struggle with contentment. Probably because each woman is a sinner in need of a Savior (sorry ladies... hate to break it to you, haha).

I've found myself being more grateful the last few days. It has been gloomy in Baltimore, but I find myself vocalizing thankfulness for the weather (though if it snows, all bets are off). I've been working a lot of hours lately, gearing up for my "busy season." But, I haven't worked them with an attitude. Instead, I'm vocalizing my thankfulness for my job, which I really enjoy.

So, ladies, I know that this is God's grace in my life and YOU are a means of great grace in my life as you have shared your battles and victories in your struggles with contentment. You are examples of the "great gains in godliness."

Quiet Time Thoughts

2008-12-10T08:46:00.002-05:00

This morning a friend and I texted about various struggles we had this morning. Both involved the need to get out of bed. (Even without looking out the window, how do our bodies know it is a rainy, gloomy day?)

She said her quiet time suffered this morning -- it wasn't very "good."

I reminded her with the encouragement I often receive when my QTs feeling inadequate:

But did you have a quiet time? I'm not saying that you should settle for mediocrity but I know for a while you were having a hard time having one at all. Sometimes having a quiet time is an act of faith. We might not have a "productive" quiet time but we have it in faith. Usually those days are the ones that God uses what I read to help me encourage someone else.

I wish that I thought of every quiet time as an act of faith. But, the truth is that sometimes I'm so "spiritually proud" that I don't see my weaknesses. Every quiet time should be used to encourage someone else -- not because I'm so great at it, but because God has placed me in a community to serve Him.

Another friend encouraged me this morning with this verse:

Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

So often I don't tell God how much help I need. Though He knows it, it takes humility to admit it.

Yesterday, I spoke with a coworker who is going through a divorce. She said that she never thought she would be so weak. She has always been a strong woman.

I told her that our greatest strength is often found in our weaknesses. It is when we know our weaknesses that we can admit them and ask God to help us in them. So, our new strength is really God's strength.

So, Lord, I come to you with the confidence you say I can come to you in. Help me to know how much I need you... how much I need to depend on you. Please help me to put to death my pride. Please give me the humility that I have through your Son. I am an arrogant woman. Forgive me, Father. Thank you for dying for my sin, for this sin.

Bringing Christmas Cheer to our Soldiers

2008-12-08T10:13:00.004-05:00

Clayton Willey's mailing address in Iraq has changed.
Please don't send him anything after December, as he probably will not receive it.

I would encourage you to mail Clayton a Christmas card by the end of the week if you can.
I know that he really, really, really enjoys receiving mail, and the holidays can be a lonely time if you don't have family around.

SGT CLAYTON WILLEY
424 MP DET
FOB GRIZZLY
APO AE 09391

Also, Kurt Parker will be on leave in a week and half; so, he will get to spend Christmas with his wonderful wife, DeAnn.

But, if you mail him a letter by Wednesday, he should still get it at Ft. Benning.

SPC. Parker, Kurt
Bco.1/329 INF.
5550 Leonard Dr.
Ft. Benning, GA 31905
On the front lower left and lower right, write: RN335.
On the back, bottom center, write: RN335.

Even if you do not know either of these men, please consider dropping a card in the mail this week. My brother (as well as Clayton and Kurt) have stressed to me and others how much they appreciate getting mail. My father, a Marine and Vietnam Vet, said to me that nothing is like mail call to either make or break your day.

You don't have to write a long note. Often, I just print out what I wrote on my blog or send them a picture or short article.

So, a Christmas card, with a quick note of, "Praying for you, and wishing you a Merry Christmas!" would be sufficient if you don't know what to say.

You can you use the normal 42 cent postage for the mail going to Iraq.

Friday Funnies

2008-12-06T14:10:00.003-05:00

Girl Talk posts "Friday Funnies" every week on their blog.

What makes this post even more humorous?

The post was from and about my friends.

Thanks for your humility, Matt, in allowing this story to be shared. :o)

New Year's Books 09

2008-12-04T14:00:00.002-05:00

Last year I posted a list of books that I was hoping to read in 2008.
Most I read, plus others.
I don't keep a list of books that I have read, aside from the seasonal list I keep and update on this blog. I don't keep a list of the books I have read because if I really liked the book, I will reread it, and if I didn't, it will fade from memory. I don't want to be in the habit of only reading books I haven't read, which I would be in if I kept a list.

I do think that having a list of books that I would like to try to read over the course of a year is helpful. Keeps me focused to some degree.

I have an idea of some books that I would like to read in 2009.
As always, the list will evolve according to ministry, suggestions, sanctification needs, etc.

What are some books you would suggest to help me in my spiritual growth?

It is what families do

2008-12-03T09:18:00.005-05:00

I know that not everyone has a great family life. But, I do. For all of our faults, my family knows how to be there for one another. We are a drop everything and make it work kind of family.

My brother's place was robbed yesterday. Dad talked specifics with him. We alerted some friends who would be praying for him. Mom, Breanne, and I consoled him. Mom and I made plans to drive down this weekend. Dad is prepping my car Thursday night. The Willey men gave him a hard time (he needed to be able to laugh at it). Mrs. Linda is making his favorite meal, which Mom and I will take to NC this weekend.

And that is just my earthly family.

My Church Family has also stepped in to help in some meaningful ways.

1. Prayer. I know people are praying for my brother. A few quick texts from me and my sister, and people knew. My Care Group prayed last night with me for him.

2. Electronics. Silly thing, I know. But, for a guy, electronics are important. I have a tv that I was giving to the Gill men, but they have released me from that to give to my brother. Steve Oberle has a dvd player for my brother.

3. Obligations. Saturday was pretty booked up for me with church things. A few quick phone calls and conversations and I'm released. Humbling to know that I'm so quickly replaced. But, encouraging to know that I am as well. God uses us where He wants when He wants and is in control. He doesn't need us. There is great freedom in that.

So, I'm humbled again to be a part of such a great family. Blood, Adopted (Willey's), and Church.

Welcome to the Outside Hannah!

2008-12-03T08:40:00.001-05:00

From Brandon, the proud papa:

Well, after a very long day, Hannah finally came out! She was born at 7:34pm and weighs 8 lbs. 5.6 oz, and is 21 inches long.

After approximately 2.5 hours of HARD labor, Annie and Hannah are doing well. Hannah seems to have a little bit of a sore head from the labor, but is expected to be much happier soon.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. We can’t wait for Hannah to meet everyone! We’re going to see if we can get some sleep.

At least I think that’s what we’re going to try to do.

Take care.

---Brandon & Annie & Hannah

Update on Hannah Jane

2008-12-02T16:03:00.001-05:00

From the email I sent out a few seconds ago:

Hey everyone!
I just spoke with Brandon (and Annie in the background).

They have NOT had Hannah yet, but she is FULLY dilated and they are waiting for little Hannah to drop some more.

She will start pushing again within a half hour!

Please be praying for a safe and healthy delivery!

A Splinter and Sin

2008-12-02T08:45:00.003-05:00

Over two weeks ago, I took myself to the ER.

I sat in the waiting room with very sick people.

I flipped through a bridal magazine to see if I could get any ideas for Bethany. (Sorry B, I got nuttn' for ya.)

As I sat there, in between pictures of taffeta and lace, I couldn't help but laugh at my situation. About two hours before, I was moving a bookcase. I got a huge splinter in my hand - between my finger and palm, where it bends. I pulled most of it out, but a tiny piece broke off. Becky tried to cut into my hand, but there was blood and it was in too deep. I went to her mom's house to see if she could get it out -- Mrs. Pat was an ER nurse for years, and now works at a clinic. She couldn't. She said I would probably need to get it out because it might get infected.

So, I went to the ER. After sitting there for an hour, the triage nurse called me back. She officially didn't see me because there was nothing she could do -- unless I wanted to wait 4 hours. Nope.

I called my GP the next day, he saw me the following day. Said the splinter was in too deep. Basically there are a few things that could happen: 1. It will work itself out; 2. It will get infected and have to be surgically removed; 3. It will remain.

My GP gave me a tetanus shot, chit chatted with me for a bit, then sent me on my way.

2 weeks later, and the splinter is still in my hand. As far as I can tell there has been no real change in the situation. (I did try to pick at it... stupid! That hurt far more than any minor discomfort the splinter sometimes gives me.)

Isn't the splinter like sin in our lives?

1. Sometimes God, through the process of sanctification, will expose our sin and help us over time to remove it from our lives. It isn't as painful -- and often it is an encouraging process.

2. Sometimes God , through the process of sanctification, causes immediate mortification of our sin, but often after that sin has festered for a while. This is often a painful process. But, it is also encouraging to know that God loves us so much that He isn't going to leave us in the place we are. He is going to intervene in a dramatic way.

3. Sometimes it remains, even after some sanctification. We desire for the sin to be removed, but we are fallen beings. We are going to keep sinning. Paul talks about this in Romans 7. Though it doesn't feel encouraging to remain in certain sins, the encouragement here comes from the gospel -- this is why Christ came and died for us. We are sinners, in need of a Savior. God sees us as He sees His Son. So, though we aren't perfect, because of Christ, we are declared perfect and are being made perfect. And when we get to heaven -- the splinters will all be removed.

Be praying for the Williams'

2008-12-02T08:35:00.002-05:00

Annie was induced at 7:15 this morning.

Be praying for a safe and healthy delivery of baby Hannah!

3 Months

2008-11-28T10:50:00.003-05:00

In an effort to do some further reorganization on my blog...

I'm giving the axe to blogs who have not posted within 3 months.

I tried to give a heads up to you.

I would, however, be pleased to re-post your blog if you find time to update again.

I know, I know. I'm cold and heartless.
:o)

Hannah Jane

2008-11-26T13:56:00.002-05:00

...still has not made her appearance!

Pray for Brandon and Annie (and baby Hannah)!

Brandon will give us updates and post pictures from the hospital.

I Almost Got Sick

2008-11-26T10:50:00.002-05:00

Never have I read a newsclip title and almost lost my breakfast so quickly.
Lord, Help Us!

Thanksgiving Traditions

2008-11-26T10:05:00.002-05:00

Everyone seems to have thanksgiving traditions. The more godly families spend time thanking God for things.

My favorite Thanksgiving tradition?

Rearranging my aunt's spices. She has them in alphabetical order.
I have different plans of attack.

It drives her crazy.

Which, she would say, isn't hard.
No. But, it sure is fun!

Any Thanksgiving traditions you want to share?

You Are the Treasure That I Seek...: But There's a Lot of Cool Stuff Out There, Lord

2008-11-25T15:50:00.003-05:00

A friend (okay, really a friend of friends, but I'll claim him!) has his FIRST book coming out in April!

Congrats Greg Dutcher!

So, go to your Amazon wish list and mark it!

Though I haven't had the honor of a pre-read (ahem, Greg), I will pre-vouch for this book.

I'm sure it will be great.

I'm sure that it will be theologically accurate.

And I'm sure that God will get much glory!

Need a Reason to Give Blood?

2008-11-25T13:25:00.003-05:00

We've all heard that we should give blood because one day someone you know will need blood.

I've donated blood. But, to the best of my knowledge, no one I know needed it.

Until this week.

Rebecca Scheeler has internal bleeding. She is doing much better, but she is still in the PICU.
And she needed 3 units of blood.

If you want to send a free card to Rebecca to let her know you are praying for her, click here.
Her room number is 2a in the PICU.

(Thanks Janet for the hospital card link.)

Update on Iraq

2008-11-25T08:14:00.004-05:00

Update on Clayton:

He is now ranked "Sargent" (yay Clay!).

Though that is good news, the "bad" news is that we can no longer snail mail him. (I hope he was able to get my last letter!) We can still email him, but he will have very limited access (if you want his email, please let me know).

Please continue to pray for Clayton and his unit. They have switched camps, and we do not have a lot of information beyond his new location (northeast of Baghdad).

Please pray for the families of the military during the holiday season.

An 85th Birthday

2008-11-22T09:00:00.008-05:00

Last night, I had the joy of being a part of a surprise party for one of my mentors. Since I don't speak directly about my job, I will leave her name off this blog.

She is not a spiritual mentor, but God has used her mightily nonetheless. She has coached me in my career, and there would be few whose opinions I value more on the job front. I'm thankful to God for her.

Here is the letter I read to her last night.

*******************

My parents are your average hard working middle class family. They expect hard work, not handouts. So, it should come as no surprise that when your name was on the ballot, they always voted for you.

I, on the other hand, never voted for you. I was not old enough.

Though I never had the privilege of putting a check next to your name, I have had a far greater honor – getting to know you. Getting to know you, not as [name] (Incumbent), but as Mrs. [ ].

So, what have I observed in these four years? What do I seek to apply to my own life?

1. Appreciate hard work and a willingness to stand for what you believe in.
I’ve seen the respect you have garnered from both sides of the aisle. I’ve seen the respect you have had for those who don’t agree with you. I’ve also seen a lack of respect for those who do agree with you, but who blow with the wind. Your gift of respect is always for the person. Have they earned it?

I recently read this quote by Abraham Lincoln, and there are few people, especially people in the political world who exemplify it.
“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.”

You stand firm, but you also listen to those around you. You are willing to compromise where compromise is needed, but you stand firm in what is right. So often people compromise on the wrong things and stand firm in the foolish things. Thank you for your example.

2. Read.
I’ve always been an avid reader, but, I was never a big newspaper reader. In high school, I read Newsweek, but watching you with several daily papers always effective has taught me to read daily. In order to have an effective hand on what people are facing, we must daily see what is affecting people. So, thanks to you, I am an even bigger news junkie than I was in high school and college. And I’m glad.

3. Care about those who cannot care for themselves.
The first time I felt like I was getting to know you was when we were on our way to a fundraiser. The Jack Abramoff scandal had hit and we were talking about the Native Americans who were affected. I mentioned that a year before I had been to a few Reservations. You asked me to describe them and what I saw. You genuinely cared about them.

And your work for animal rescue. Not only supporting it in theory, but causing me some guilt that my family just bought pure breeds! Oh the shame!

4. You are a woman.
Seems like a silly thing to point out. But so many women lose their femininity in the man’s world. You have shown me that you can be tough, stand your ground, and still look and act like a woman. I wish so many women that I know could see this in you. You are confident, tough, hardworking, intelligent, and so much more – all with manicured hands and some accessory. You have maintained a certain dignity – not as a doormat or a man eater. But as a woman who knows what she believes and why and is willing to fight for it. Your example has shown me more than you will ever know.

Thank you for being the person you are. It isn’t easy to constantly and consistently be the same person. It would be hard to imagine you being any different. I’m thankful I don’t have to.

Love, Michele
November 21, 2008

Snow Globe Day

2008-11-21T10:20:00.001-05:00

Last year's.

I'm on the 20th Fl of a building central to the Inner Harbor of Baltimore. As much as I don't like the cold, it is beautiful looking out the window and feeling like you are in the middle of a snow globe.

Anger

2008-11-21T09:15:00.005-05:00

I love babysitting the Zorn kid-os. They each have these wonderful personalities that make me laugh, giggle, smile, and feel all warm and mushy inside. I love babysitting the Zorns because I love them. An added bonus is that God never fails to teach me something each time I am with them.

The #3 child is 5. And ever since I've known him, he has been more prone to the sin area of anger. One time, over a year or more ago, he threw a temper tantrum. Or at least he started to. I remember looking at him and saying, "Is that all you've got?" Then, I got on the floor and threw a fake one. In a matter of seconds, we were both laughing and giggling and tickling each other.

Last night, his 1 1/2 year old sister took apart his fort -- constructed of various big toys, with a blanket over it. It happened so quick. And anger was on full display (though he has defiantly grown in how he handles these situations - kudos to the parents). Time out was required.

This was not the only bout of anger last night. He had a few other eruptions. Which resulted in him telling me through tears at bed time that he wasn't going to talk to or play with either of his sisters the next day. We talked a bit about it, I told him that I would have to talk to his parents about his behavior, and then when I left, his older brother said that he called me a "big meanie." His older brother and I had to keep from laughing. It was hard!

In one of our conversations, I asked him what God thought about anger. He said, "Not good." I asked why. He said he did not know. And I realized that I had never really thought about why anger is wrong. (There can be great debate about "anger" -- God does not sin in His anger, but how often is that true for us? So, let's go off the premise, that 99.9% of the time, when we are angry, we sin in it.) (Another side note -- the OT has a lot of verses about God's anger burning and being kindled against Israel. Kind of scary. Can you imagine an all powerful God being angry at you? But, I think that is the point.)

Here are some thoughts I have on anger, but I would like any input you might have.

1. The Bible says: "But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness." Psalm 86:15 (and other places)
How often are we slow to anger?
And when we are angry, are we merciful and gracious?
Abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness?

2. Anger = foolishness
"Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly." Proverbs 14:29
"Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools." Ecclesiastes 7:9

3. Anger = stirs up strife/conflict
"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention." Proverbs 15:18
"For pressing milk produces curds,pressing the nose produces blood,and pressing anger produces strife." Proverbs 30:33

4. Anger = not a good friend
"Make no friendship with a man given to anger ,nor go with a wrathful man," Proverbs 22:24

5. Anger = a lot of sin flows
"A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression." Proverbs 29:22

God's anger is executing justice.

In Nahum 1:2-3:
The LORD is a jealous and avenging God;
the LORD is avenging and wrathful;
the LORD takes vengeance on his adversaries
and keeps wrath for his enemies.
The LORD is slow to anger and great in power,
and the LORD will by no means clear the guilty.
His way is in whirlwind and storm,
and the clouds are the dust of his feet.

When we are angry, aren't we also trying to execute justice? I know that is often what I'm trying to do. I appointed myself judge of others in self-righteousness. God is the avenger, not Michele.

Anyway, just some thoughts.
I'd be interested in reading your take on why our anger is so often sinful.

Power of Michele

2008-11-20T14:56:00.001-05:00

Fun Slate Article.

Congrats Miguel & Libby

2008-11-20T14:39:00.003-05:00

I've known Miguel & Libby since we were teens.
Before they were Miguel & Libby.

Now, they are Miguel, Libby, & Isabel!

Congrats! (And too a proud Auntie, Sacha!)

Tickled Pink

2008-11-12T16:29:00.002-05:00

Okay, I said earlier that there wouldn't be any posts for a while.
But my dear friend Stephanie just had a little girl, after 3 wonderful boys.

And I'm bouncing out of my seat with excitement.
Congrats Bowmans!

Hopefully there will be a picture posted on her blog soon. (Thanks Kristy for the updates!)

On a break

2008-11-12T10:22:00.002-05:00

I'm in the process of moving, applying to grad school, prepping for the holidays, getting ready to train with the Red Cross, and a variety of other little tasks.

So, the blog needs to be put on hold.

Sorry readers! I'll be back by the end of the month (I hope!).

Baltimore: Piedigrotta

2008-11-07T15:35:00.002-05:00

Vaccaro's used to be my favorite Baltimore Italian Bakery.
I have a new favorite.
Piedigrotta.

It could be that my boss knew the owner.
It could be that he took us to the back of the bakery and gave us fresh filled cream puffs. Which he literally pulled off the bakery rack and filled himself.
It could be that they tasted like heaven.

So, though I love Vacarro's, I have a new favorite. And I encourage everyone to go there!
The owners are not only on the premsis, but they are working hard and enjoying their work!

Things were going well

2008-11-05T14:44:00.003-05:00

Things were going well.
My boss was out for two weeks.
I worked lots and lots of hours.
I went to public meetings, events, met with elected officials, and helped write and rewrite certain documents.

I was excited for my boss to come back.
I had accomplished so much.

Then, last Friday happened.
Things began to unravel, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

And today, I am having to give an accounting for things that happened.
I've been in to see my boss's boss. I'm working on writing a memo for my boss's boss's boss.

I'm taking responsibility, but also backing myself up.
I wonder if this is often how a husband can feel.

He makes the right decisions, and things don't go as they should have. Not his fault, but he must take the responsibility for the things that went wrong.

Learning how to Trust God.

GO VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-04T09:18:00.001-05:00

Reformation Day (Halloween)

2008-11-04T09:15:00.002-05:00

I kept the Reformation theme going... Here is a picture of the group that decided to dress up.

How can I discern the specific calling of God on my life?

2008-11-03T08:44:00.001-05:00

by John Piper

How can I discern the specific calling of God on my life?

The Bible expects us to walk in the good works that God has prepared beforehand for us (Ephesians 2:10). And Romans 12:2 says, "Be renewed in your mind so that you can prove what is the will of God"—His will, I believe, for you—"what is good, acceptable and perfect."

First, I suggest that you give yourself to the word of God. Immerse yourself in God's assessment of you and the world, so that you see things through God's eyes.

Secondly, get a realistic view of yourself—your gifts, weaknesses and strengths—and let others help you by participating in the Body of Christ and having them comment on what things they see in you.

Third, look at the situation in the world, either in your immediate vicinity or in some distant place, and get a burden for the world.

I believe that when these three things happen—saturation with the Bible, a true understanding of yourself, and a clear vision of the needs of the world—and you begin to stir them together with the stirring spoon of prayer, I believe that what will emerge is an aroma of what the clear calling of God is on your life.

You'll know which way to follow God and use your gifts for him, whatever the particular specifics are.

*********************
Thank you to my friends and family who have been encouraging me to make decisions and move forward with my [His] life.

Happy Reformation Day

2008-10-31T08:59:00.002-04:00

Happy Reformation Day, my Protestant friends. (And to my Catholic family - Happy Halloween!)

Last year, I celebrated the day in costume. Tonight, I will be carrying a similar theme, though with a different costume.

A year ago today, I started doing Something Scary.

Personality Prayer

2008-10-30T09:08:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I emailed a friend and made a comment about how I haven't really been in a laughing mood. He asked why, and I said I had a lot on my mind lately.

I prayed and asked God to help me not take myself so seriously. And God, who is faithful, had Allyson send me an email that made me laugh pretty hard. At myself.

Back in August, I had a post called Personality Test.
Allyson found another blog that posted Personality Profile Prayer.

My prayer: ESTJ:
God, help me to not try to RUN everything. But, if You need some help, just ask.

And I'm still laughing.

Reminder: Pray for our Troops

2008-10-28T09:16:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, Robbie Scheeler left for Afghanistan.
Nick Price left for Marine Boot Camp.

Kurt Parker is in Boot Camp at Ft. Benning, GA.
Clayton Willey is in Iraq.

And those are just men who attend Grace Community Church.
There are men and woman from all over our country who are faithfully serving to protect our Nation. Remember to pray for them.

Also, please remember to pray for their families. If you overheard a conversation I had with Anne Scheeler last night, you would find that for us, this never gets easier. We are so proud and yet so terrified.

Anne and I also talked about how sometimes people try to calm our fears by saying that our loved ones "will be okay." You cannot promise that. People die in war. It is an open conversation. I know what my brother's will says. Anne knows what her brother's will says. So, yes, while we do need to not worry, we cannot deny reality.

So, while we send our loved ones away from us, please remember to pray for their safety and pray for our hearts to be guarded. When we hear of a death overseas, our hearts skip a beat. Even if our loved one isn't there, this is what they are training for.

And do you want to know one of the best ways to encourage the Soldiers and Marines in our midst? Write them. Even if you feel you don't have much to say. All the men I have written to over the years have thanked me over and over for the letters. I think it reminds me why they are serving, when it gets hard.

Clayton's address:
Spc Clayton Willey
424 MP Det
Unit #43126
APO AE 09342

Kurt's address:
SPC. Parker, Kurt
Bco.1/329 INF.
5550 Leonard Dr.
Ft. Benning, GA31905
On the front lower left and lower right, write: RN335
On the back, bottom center, write: RN335

WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

2008-10-27T09:57:00.003-04:00

Bethany and Andy are engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Theological Question

2008-10-26T08:39:00.002-04:00

What is the difference between "Eternal Security" and "Perseverance of the Saints?"
Is there a difference?

I know I could do all the research myself (and most likely will do some), but some of the readers of this blog will probably have the answer right away.

Fall Reading

2008-10-24T08:27:00.006-04:00

"Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?"

~Henry Ward Beecher

Books to the ceiling,

Books to the sky,

My pile of books is a mile high.

How I love them!

How I need them!

I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.

~Arnold Lobel

There seem to be two kinds of reading I'm doing.
1. "Quick" Reads
2. "Intensive" Reads

"Quick" = The books I read when I am working out. I've tried the whole ipod thing while doing cardio, and it doesn't keep me entertained and focused like reading does. I can't read while I lift weights, but I pray. I get distracted praying while I do cardio, so I read. I can't underline, highlight or make notes in a book while moving like the wind (okay, so I don't move that fast. I'm sure you are shocked by that admission.), but I dog-ear the pages. Not my favorite way to read, but enjoyable, nonetheless. Of course, I read shampoo bottles in the shower because I get bored if I'm not reading something. Do they make waterproof books?

"Intensive" = books that I have to/need to take my time reading. These are the books that if you borrow them from me, you will have to ignore the notes, the underlining, the chocolate smudges, and the coffee stain. They require specific time set aside, and then thought/digestion time afterwards.

Sometimes the books overlap in both categories. Historical books (David McCullough types) tend to float in between.

I've found that most of my friends who love to read have a system. They have a plan. And sometimes we compare our plans. Often they are similar to a certain degree.

1. Always be working on a book and know what your next book is.

2. Work on several books at the same time (of course, not literally at the same time, but the same time frame, silly)

3. Vary genres.

4. Have a few favorites that you reread every so often.

5. Classics are classics for a reason. They have stood the test of time. If you don't know what to read, pick up a book you have heard about since middle school. Chances are pretty high that you will enjoy it to some degree.

6. Take recommendations. Even if you aren't sure you will particularly like a book, if a friend recommends it, try to read it (even if it takes you a year or more to get to it!).

7. Keep a wish list. It helps with the budget. And makes life easier on your family to know what birthday/Christmas present to get you.

8. Don't be afraid to mark up your books.

9. Look at what others are reading. (Mohler, Dever, Mahaney (I know I've seen something... can't seem to find it), Piper, etc. have given suggestions on their websites at some point.)

10. READ

Of course, you shouldn't take just my word for it. I don't read nearly as much or as quickly as others. Here is the best article I've read on reading.

******************************************
Here is an overview on what I finished reading this season:

1. A Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Stories by Flannery O'Connor
"Quick"
I literally laughed out loud. And people on other exercise equipment looked over at me. Oh well. Flannery O'Connor has a darker sense of humor. Not exactly your "Happily Ever After."

2. Kim by Rudyard Kipling
"Quick"
Except not really quick. At times I thought for sure I would have more fun plucking out my eyelashes. Okay, so it wasn't that bad. But, I had expectations! I love Kiplings' Just So Stories.

3. Relationships: A Mess Worth Making by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp
"Intensive"
Read it. Seriously. It is not a hard read. And it will be help identify sin and point you to the Savior in your various relationships. (Who didn't recommend this book to me in some way or another?)

4. The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis
"Intensive"
I love C.S. Lewis. I don't always agree with all of his theology. But I love C.S. Lewis. Read all of this works. That is what I'm currently trying to do. (Kristen encouraged me bump this one up on my reading list.)

5. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
"Quick"
I told Maggie and T that the movie was playing at the Senator Theater (old 1-movie at a time theater within walking distance from my apartment). They both told me I needed to read the book before we saw the movie. Done. Seeing the movie Sunday, Lord willing. Good "coming of age" story, that touches on important social issues in the 60s, and tugs on some heart strings too.

6. Trusting God by Jerry Bridges
"Intensive"
A MUST READ for everyone. Seriously. And I'm so thankful I've been going through it with a group of phenomenal women. (Amy Bickel told me this was a "must read" two years ago. Glad I finally got to it!)

Here is an overview on what I'm currently reading:

1. Future Grace by John Piper
"Intensive"
Okay, it's Piper. And I love him. Anything by him. (Did you know that Piper enjoys C.S. Lewis too and has been greatly impacted by him? Not shocking. Makes sense to me!) I'm working through this slowly. The first couple of chapters really struck a spiritual nerve and I haven't moved on yet. Expect a blog post, eventually on it. I'm still chewing it it. (Tracy told me it was a "must read" a year ago. And she bought it for me too.)

2. Jack's Life: The Life Story of C.S. Lewis by Douglas Gresham (Lewis' stepson)
"Quick"
Not a scholarly work. Not the best writing style. But, written with love, and it comes across that way. Gresham does seem to have good insight into others.

3. The Bondage of the Will by Martin Luther
"Intensive"
I've put this book aside until I finish Future Grace. I was reading it during my quiet times. It is set-up well for that kind of reading.

Books I'm hoping to read soon:

1. The young women I lead in the parent/teen ministry filled out a cheesy form I gave them. One of the questions I asked was what their favorite book was. So, I'm hoping to work through some of them. And I'm hoping that they will lend them to me too! Ahem. And for the ladies that left that question blank... ahem. (haha)
Ted Dekker (anything)
Gone with the Wind
Peter Pan
Dragons in Our Midst
Angela's Ashes

2. Leadership for Women in the Church by Susan Hunt

3. The Daring Book for Girls by Andrea Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz

4. I have a stack of books I pulled from my book shelf. And I can't remember which ones I pulled!

*************************************************

Fall is a great time to curl up on your sofa with a cup of hot apple cider (with a cinnomon stick in it, of course!) and a book, or three, or ten.

Happy reading! (Amanda posted something on books today too! And Amy's blog is a great place to look for a new book recommendation.)

"Just the knowledge that a good book is awaiting one at the end of a long day makes that day happier."

~Kathleen Norris

"How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book."

~Henry David Thoreau

Fear of Man, Femininity, and Career

2008-10-22T21:02:00.005-04:00

A year and a half ago, I began looking at going back to school. It was a half hearted attempt where I said to God, "Fine, if you want me to be this single career woman, whatever. Might as well go back to school."

I'm sure you can tell what a faith filled statement that is, huh?

I'm sure you don't see any bitterness regarding singleness there, huh?

I took the Gideon route where I put out a fleece and told God that He had to meet my requirements. Incredibly prideful, you know? To make these demands of God. But, you know what? He is so faithful, even when we are faithless.

My requirements?

1. Online based,through a recognized University.
2. Would use my giftings and skill sets, and I would enjoy it.
3. Wouldn't interfere with my serving in the church or other church functions.
4. I don't have to pay for it.
5. Relating to my current job.
6. Something that could help me grow as a woman, that could potentially help me in the home.

God's answer:

1. Done. Towson University (where I did my undergrad work) offers it.
2. Done. Management. Helping people.
3. Done. For the most part, my schedule has actually cleared up some.
4. Work will pay for some, and my cousin the almost-tax attorney gave me a few pointers.
5. Definitely. I deal with it all the time to a certain degree.
6. This is where the fear of man -- literally, the fear of "MAN" creeped in.

The Master's program?
Integrated Homeland Security Management.

How on earth is this going to bring out my femininity? How on earth is this going to help me to grow as a woman?

I began to think, "What man would ever be interested in me?" A friend and I have even talked very candidly about how advanced degrees can seem to take you further off "the market." How many men, in our opinion, have we heard say that they like intelligent women, but then after observing the women they date, it would appear that they only like intelligent women as friends, as buddies.

Even though God answered my faithless requests, I caved into the fear of man.

So, what has changed in the last year and a half?

In some ways, nothing. I'm still single. I'm still observing some of the same things in men. However, I woke up one day around my birthday, asking myself this question: Michele, why haven't you gone back to school? What are you waiting for?

I couldn't answer my questions in a coherent way. I mumbled back to myself, "I don't know." As I prayed more and more, God lifted a veil from my eyes. I haven't gone back to school because I'm scared that no man will ever want me as his wife. I already work in a male dominated industry where often I am one of only a few women in the room at any given time. I've met some of their wives. They are nothing like me. They are wonderful women. But, they certainly aren't out cutting firewood for fun, or having to stop lifting simple 10 lb. weights because their muscles bulk up quickly (really, it is ridiculous).

I realized that I forgot to add something to my list. What should have been #1. "Can I faithfully glorify God in it?"

I have been so consumed in growing in Femininity at times that I easily forget what it was all about.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 says:

likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

Good works. I can faithfully glorify God with my life with good works. (You can also not glorify God with good works, but that is a different post for another time.)

A week ago, Cross Current (my church's parent/youth ministry) had our first smaller, more intimate teen meeting. I came from work and was therefore in my business suit. I always forget that the teens are not used to seeing me in this attire. One of the girls said, "You look intimidating." A few months ago, that statement would have crushed me. Last week, I smiled and laughed.

What I wear might help me to look more feminine or not, but it doesn't mean that I am. Where I work and what kind of job I do might help me to grown in femininity, but it might not, if I'm more consumed with myself than glorifying God.

So, though I am not 100% committed to pursuing this degree, I am 100% committed to pursuing God, by His grace. This is a step of faith for me. It is a step in Trusting God. I'm moving forward. I have a meeting Thursday regarding my potential graduate studies. I have an orientation with the Red Cross next month regarding becoming a Disaster Relief Volunteer. Between the security issues with my job, different ways I serve in my church, and work with the Red Cross, I hopefully will have given myself as much hands-on experience before I embark on this next phase of my career. If I pursue this degree, depending on if I stay with the job I have now or go another route, things could dramatically change in my life. I have the nervous-butterfly-feeling in my stomach even moving ahead in the ways I have.

This may not seem like a big leap of faith for some of you. For me, it is. In my mind, it is like declaring myself definitely single. It doesn't mean I'm not open to the possibility of marriage. I am. But, the reality is that I'm shifting my focus from marriage/family to career.

It is like I'm back to where I started before God convicted me on my lack of Biblical Femininity. I was focused on my career in a non-God honoring way. It was all about me. Pursing Biblical Femininity started becoming all about me. Now, hopefully, by the grace of God, I can go back to pursuing my career in a God honoring way.

So, though I have that nervous-butterfly-feeling in my stomach, I also believe that butterflies are beautiful. They represent change. Like the heart of a girl who once wanted to prove to men that she was their equal in every way -- who now has the heart of a woman who has nothing to prove, only a desire to faithfully follow God, wherever He may lead her.

There are no guarantees. Please be praying for me. I'm excited to see what the Lord will do with this. And for those of you who have been encouraging me and walking through this process with me, thank you. Without your constant encouragement and support, I know I would not see God for who He really is. Your persistence in focusing my eyes on my Savior and off myself gives great glory to God.

Memory Walk

2008-10-15T11:58:00.002-04:00

Saturday Morning I'm

On the MOVE to End Alzheimer's.

Both of my maternal grandparents suffered from this disease; so, it is in my best interest to do what I can to support the research to find a cure to Alzheimer's. Of course, I won't remember this charity walk anyway..... (sick family joke, and yes, every time we forget something, we blame it on our genes).

If you feel so inclined, please click here to donate to this charity.

Register to Vote!

2008-10-09T11:10:00.000-04:00

Maryland Residents:

Deadline to register for the November election is OCTOBER 14.

Please ask me if you have any questions.

Click here to learn more about how to register.

Proverbs 31:12

2008-10-08T14:46:00.002-04:00

“She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12)

(Click here for the background of this series of posts.)
Girl Talkers discussed this specifically with their post: Doing Good in a Difficult Marriage.

As a single, what does it mean to "do him good, not harm, all the days of my life"?

There are about 50 different ways I could branch off of this verse. I could apply it to how I can serve my father, brothers, pastors, church, friends, etc. However, today, I am floating on Cloud 9, and I believe that part of the reason I can celebrate with a friend today is because, by the grace of God, I've done one friend good, and not harm.

I sent this email out a month ago to a bunch of ladies:

"I'm ready to buy a ring," my friend said with confidence last night. But, before he did, he wanted to know what I thought of his girlfriend. Not if she was a good girlfriend, but if she was "The One". "She is," I told him. And he asked specifics, and I gave him specifics. I've known this man since 9th grade. I've been friends with him since 12th. He isn't saved, but we've always had enough in common for a friendship to stick.
After I outlined my thoughts on her, he outlined his. I told him how excited I was for him and how encouraged I am that he is thinking of making this step. He is not a man given to irrational thinking. He knows the risks and is ready to kick it up a notch.

But, he did say one thing to me that resonated in my soul. He said that there is one thing that bothers him about his girlfriend. And this one thing is something that in his words, "I have no room to talk."

He said that it bothers him that she has slept with other men. "It hurts," he said. He said that he knows he is guilty of the same thing. He has been with other women. But, now that he has found this woman that he wants to marry, it bothers him that he didn't save himself for her and that she didn't save herself for him.

I used to have to correct this friend in the way he would talk to me about these things. He used to ask me "what the big deal is." God allowed me to use that as a gospel opportunity in the past. Last night, he said, "Michele, I'm sorry for encouraging you in the wrong way in the past. It is worth it. You will be a gift to your husband in way that you will never understand. He will appreciate it."
This is coming from an unbeliever. Someone who doesn't understand the theology of purity. Someone who doesn't know that we belong to God. That our life is not our own. Someone who doesn't understand that we serve a pure and holy God.
But, take his encouragement to heart. And pray that I continually look for ways to share the gospel with him and his girlfriend. That they would be saved.

This friend called me last night. He is engaged. And I am thrilled. I wish he could have seen my face when he told me. But, I have a sneaking suspicion he could hear it in my voice. I was smiling from ear to ear.

I prayed after we hung up: Lord, thank you for him and his fiance. Thank you for my friendship with him.

How did I do this man good?

1. I didn't date him.
There could have been opportunities. But, he isn't saved. Thanks for the faithfulness of some friends who asked hard questions, by the grace of God, I pulled away when our friendship got a little sketchy - if I thought maybe he was beginning to toy with the idea of dating me, or if I began to have romantic feelings for him. It was never easy to pull away. And over time, I learned how to not pull away - I learned how to guard myself and him in a way that made our friendship perfectly clear to both of us.

2. I encouraged him to seek a wife. Not a girlfriend.
He never had problems finding a girlfriend. He is intelligent and attractive and fun. But, he wasn't seeking a wife. So, when he would call me for advice on the newest gal, I'd ask him if he thought she was "The One." We talked about it. I'd step back so that he could see.

3. When it was "The One", I encouraged him to stay with her.
I think I knew she was "The One" about a year ago. I hadn't met her. When he asked me why I liked her so much, I said, "Because YOU do." He got a little nervous last fall. He was looking for a way out. He was looking for me to say what I've always said, "... why are you wasting your time with her?" Those words did not enter my mouth. I said, "I think she might be 'The One.' Let's wait and see."

4. I wouldn't be his buddy.
Sure, we are friends. But I'm not his buddy. I'm not sure why I never really fell into this role with him. There have been "buddy moments." But, never full fledged buddy-dom. I think it is because he had a good set of guy friends. I also think that it is because we didn't see each other but a few times a year. When he would call when he was less than sober, I would chat for a moment, then tell him I had to go. I wasn't there for him all hours of the night (though there were times I was, but more on that at #6). He treated me with respect. The common grace in him was unusual.

5. All the days of my life?
Like I said in the email portion of this post - I've known him since 9th grade. Consistency in his actions and mine. Had one of us not been consistent, showing respect, I don't think we would have made it.

6. I shared the gospel with him.
Over and over. There was a season that he would call me at midnight almost every day, wanting to talk about life's big questions. I still look for every opportunity to share the gospel with him. Not only is he my friend, but more importantly, I am his; meaning, I need to share the best news I have with him. I'm not only obligated and commanded to, but I want to. We might go for months and months without a conversation. I never know when my next opportunity will be.

This post isn't a big pat on the back for Michele. I could write many more posts on ways that I have failed at Proverbs 31:12. But, I want to give God the glory for ways that I haven't. Any failing is sin, but any success is by God's grace.

Could I have done a better job at times with my friendship with this man? Yuppers.
By the grace of God, I will continue to look for ways to obey Proverbs 31:12. He and I are in a different season of our friendship again. I'm more than happy to keep stepping back in our friendship. He has been a good friend to me, and because of the character I have observed in his life, I know he is going to make a wonderful husband.

There are probably a lot more things I could clarify and talk about in this post. But, I trust if you have any questions you will post them or email me directly. I could not have had this friendship without having Christians and our parents involved in it. I'm a friend of his family and he is a friend of mine. I've kept our friendship in the light with my accountability partners and other members of my Care Group. It has by no means been an easy friendship (guy/girl friendships never are, and he isn't saved). It is exhausting at times sharing the gospel over and over with someone. During weaker moments, I have been tempted to compromise myself - worldliness can look attractive when your eyes are not focused on true beauty.

"She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12)

Proverbs 31

2008-10-08T11:20:00.005-04:00

Girl Talk blog is doing a series on the Proverbs 31 Wife.

The Mahaney women typically do a great job of writing about things that apply to single women as well as married women. This time, I believe, will be consistent in that. However, given the title "Proverbs 31 Wife", the single women might need to stretch our creative minds a bit to seek ways to apply the same scripture.

So, my goal, is that for each posting Girl Talk does on Proverbs 31, I will post some application for the single woman. Of course, I'm enlisting the help of some single and married women in this... so, ladies (and gents too!) please comment. And for those of you who have access to my blog, please feel free to write up your own post!

I would highly recommend Carolyn Mahaney's book Feminine Appeal and Carolyn McCulley's book Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? for more information in how to directly apply the truths of scripture to our singleness. Since I have lent both of these books out, I'll be trusting my memory on some of the areas (and given my memory lately, have fun trying to figure out what on earth I am trying to communicate!).

*****************************

More later on Proverbs 31:12.

“She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12)

Click here for what the Girl Talkers had to say.